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Final, final revision – or not

Thai spirit house
Thai spirit house

Yes, I am trying for a final, final edit but to be honest, I don’t think it will be the final. I am pushing it, though, because the publisher I plan to contact has open submissions again.

But the last edit was a debacle. Trying to mix third person narrative with first person interior monologue without distinguishing between them in italics or some other strategy was a massive failure.

Let’s see if this works better.

The rumour was strong. Big Chin reviewed the facts. A British woman: name, Sabrina Tarrant; occupation, bar owner; status, unmarried: killed Joe and tossed him in the Gulf. That takes balls.

Rooney couldn’t confirm he heard a woman in Feeney’s apartment. Him, he thought a woman’s pitch was obvious, especially through the thin walls in those buildings. Rooney was lying.

A pain stabbed Big Chin’s chest and he rubbed at it with the heel of his hand. At a click of his fingers, the butler ran across with the seltzer, and he chewed on two of them while pondering what to do with Rooney.

Because of the man’s ineptitude, ten-million-baht was missing. His ten-million-baht.

Another stab in the chest.

And so it goes on. The three voices have been changed to two voices, but I still have to work on them because nuggets of information need to be extracted. The novel  has returned to its original third person POV.

I am drafting a 300-character-with-spaces pitch, and a 3,000-character-with-spaces pitch for a publishing company as per their guidelines. I need a brilliant 300-c pitch to encourage the reader to go on to the 3,000-c pitch. Wish me luck. It is hard condensing 70,000 K words, selecting salient points, and keeping it interesting. But will they be the final, final finished product?

As a member of Scribophile, I have received a number of critiques on the first chapter of the novel, and both pitches. A lot of insightful information has come my way, and I am acting on many of the comments. Some I have chosen to ignore because I disagree. But I am the writer, and that is my prerogative.

Now back to the drawing board. Not quite but certainly back to checking, editing, changing, adding, deleting…you get the picture.

A new flash piece called Auld Jim has been published by Ad Hoc fiction. If you feel like voting for it, great. I am working on another prose piece for Visual Verse. Beautiful picture this month. Love the colour.

My final, final words for this blog is Happy New Year, and Happy Writing.


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